The Chase....

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Lately I have gone through a lot of stress and my insomnia is back so I am feeling increasingly tired. 

Long ago I broke myself out of the habit of projecting my happiness into an imaginary future and instead I concentrate on the present moment. 

For so many years of my life, I know that I didn’t know how to be happy. I continuously kept busy always on the go so that I could achieve more.  My happiness was nothing more than a project and I was continually waiting for  big things to happen so I could finally feel joyful and satisfied.  I was stuck in the rat race, this is actually an archetype.  People in a rat race often sacrifice current pleasures and benefits in anticipation of future rewards. I have learnt that this is the most familiar archetype to many of us - continuously setting new goals, never pleased, always busy.  

Trust me, I am not saying that setting clear goals for the future is a bad. Everyone in life needs a purpose and a clear vision.  My problems occured when I attached my happiness to future outcomes without being able to see and appreciate what's already good in my life.  

Rat racing is all about the hunt for happiness, chasing  illusions and never feeling content. The more I achieved, the more I wanted.

It took me a long term to learn and accept that true happiness comes from keeping a healthy balance between the present and the future.  Only then was I capable of enjoying both the journey and the destination, focusing on today’s gifts, as well as all my dreams, goals, and desires.

I think I was actually afraid to be happy and my wife taught me how to be.  I believe I used to be afraid because I always thought that I could quickly lose that happiness one day, and I used to let the worries ruin my joy.

I now try to cultivate optimism and trust the flow of life, I have completely shifted my focus from what can go wrong to what could go right. 

I have been lucky enough to have seen many beautiful moments and small pleasures this year and they have all come for free.

I have spent time with friends, non-judgmental friends who love me just the way I am. The mere act of having a good conversation over a cup of coffee charges me and I believe this is important for me.  

I love to go for nice walks with my camera and play with Lindo and chat with Kim.  I enjoy going for coffee because I’m worth it.

The need for stability and security is a basic human need.  I know many wealthy people who are unhappy because their ego has always wanted more or better.

As we spend the majority of our lives at work, this year I have made a change and start my new job on Monday.  I have witnessed too many people in the NHS live their precious lives in survival mode.  Constantly frustrated on Monday mornings and looking forward to the weekends already.  I have learnt that when we’re happy with our work, there’s nothing wrong with Monday mornings.

I aim for progress now instead of perfection, and I enjoy each step of my journey, celebrating every new lesson and every kind of achievement. I now know everyone is on their own journey, and each time I dedicate moments of my life comparing, I find myself in someone else’s territory, not mine. It’s like trying to live in their story and life experience instead of my own.

I’ve come to understand that when I shift my focus and attention from other people to myself, I suddenly have more time and energy to create good things in my own life.

I might not always get what I want, but I know I always get what I need. I see every day as a fresh start, a new opportunity for me to taste more of this experience called living. Life is a precious gift and I intend to spend as much of it happy as possible.




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