The four most important things in my life

In life, people will differ on what they define as precious commodities, I believe precious commodities are not smartphones, 3D TVs, brand new cars or impressive houses.  Precious commodities are not found in the local bank or ordered online from Amazon.

Precious commodities to me are Health, Relationships, Purpose and Time 

Up until 2009, I was accumulating objects in my life. I had lost count of the number of brand new cars I had owned.  Countless things that actually now looking back didn't really matter to me.  I had a long term partner, holidays abroad, a brand new BMW and a 3 bed detached house.  To everyone surrounding me back then I had everything. 

A year later, I went through a period of deep reflection that lasted a few years and realised that I was actually miserable. This period and even to date has helped me question things, I questioned what I thought was important and whether it was even really important at all. 

Now in 2017, I have accumulated fewer material possessions but have enjoyed my life with my wife to date so much more.  We have travelled, gone to concerts, had day trips and experienced things in life that just used to pass us by. 

I have virtually stopped being so concerned about keeping up with other people.  I am married and we are the happiest we have ever been in the 17 years we have been together. My wife is self employed which has allowed us more freedom 

The upshot of the small changes, I have made has meant that the quality of my life has improved significantly. I certainly don’t have everything figured out (no one does!), but I feel my life is on a more even keel and we are looking to the future. 

Like everyone, I took my health for granted until my health disappeared.  I looked after my physical health before I was ill but never focused on my mental health when it was crying out to me.  I try and eat healthier but reward myself, I will eat chocolate buttons if I want too.  I eat mainly a protein based diet with chocolate  or a Belgian bun thrown in.  I am on a lot of medication so therefore eat at regular intervals, I drink more fluid during the day and during the night than most will consume in a couple of days due to my body temperature and dehydration. I have regular check ups with my GP and Consultant.

Like everyone, I am busy,  life can often be chaotic, how many times do you hear someone say I don’t have enough time in my day?? How can you not have time to stop and pass the day with someone or break and have a chat?? truth is, all this busyness just might be something we have created, This may not be welcome news, but it does mean we can also step back from it and live a different way.

Friends, family, and loved ones are what really matters. My little nephew is so important to me, being able to watch him grow up.  I am so excited for my brothers upcoming baby.  Relationships just don't happen over night, they need to be built and fostered.  Everyone is busy but we need to be busy with things and people that are important. Family should forever come first, every family member deserves love and attention. Relationships are actually in my mind the foundation of life. Over the last few years, I could count on one hand the people I call friends.  What is sad though is the fact that I had people at my wedding that I really don't have time for now, people who I invited maybe through a sense of feeling like I had too, maybe like I was expected too, I know now I made several wrong decisions but going forward these people will not take up space in my life or my head as they are not a precious commodity. 

Purpose is our why, driving our actions, fueling our passion, encompassing our work, our relationships, and our approach to living our lives. Purpose is absolutely central to everything we do.  Our why is what keeps us going when life gets tough.  Our why gives life its meaning. 

Everyone only has 24hrs in their day.  For some 24hrs isn't enough, they run around, stressed, complaining about not having time while others are laid back and approach their day different but still get everything they need too done.  Given half a chance, I would happily chat my day away.   Obligations and responsibilities - we chose to have, saying yes when me mean no.  No space left to see anyone or do anything and no space left at all for ourselves. Time is precious, once spent, it’s gone. We can’t get time back and like everyone I have spent endless time on people that actually didn't even deserve a millisecond. 

When we do have time, we feel a heavy sense of guilt if we spend it doing something for ourselves, because it seems selfish.  Lately though I don't care about selfish, I love spending time with my wife just sitting and being or binge watching House of Cards Season 5 or spending time chatting about Game of Thrones, we do not struggle to just be, we are happy in each others company.  

Life is and can be tough and full of very real challenges.  Being ill has given me endless opportunities to have peace away from everyone and have time to reflect, spending endless hours in treatment in hospital in London has given me times to reassess my life.  I believe all any of us can do is look to make the very best of our situations and maybe be really grateful for what we actually have right infront of us or standing next to us instead of focusing on what we don’t have. Sometimes we all need a little outside support from others to help us along and believe me that is ok.

One of my little mantras - Where there is a will, there can be a way.