Photography & Me

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Permanent chest line meant no golf for me, definitely no swimming and no gym, what the hell was I going to do??

Around two months ago, I hit a low motivational point in my life.  I am completely aware of that feeling of having nothing to fight for, I was in this head space recently when my wife decided it was time to pack my clubs away for the foreseeable future.

Golf had always motivated me.  I felt utter devastation and also for the first time, Nothing, absolutely nothing motivated me now.
I needed a turning point and I needed it quickly.  I was so angry, so frustrated and felt like this condition had completely robbed me of everything.  All my happiness was gone, I worked for years and years and got to +2 it was now all gone.
I felt broken and incomplete, I’ll spare you from the details of my reasoning process. I needed a hobby.  A HOBBY! The sole thought of it made me burst in laughter.  Picking a hobby was all I needed to do, and that’s how I ended up making endless lists.

I needed an escape activity that allowed me time alone.
My wife purchased me an Olympus Camera with kit lens and I purchased a zoom lens.
This is exactly what was needed and would help my confidence.  Worst part was I had never properly taken pictures of any kind.
Over the last two months, I have slowly realized I was good at something, I was able to capture unique moments.  I started valuing myself, I was incredibly intimidated but In a way, I individualized myself in a non-egocentric way.

Trust me; I know how hard life gets sometimes. I’m the master of pain over the last 7 years, but I realize that stress is an inseparable part of our existence. When people are immersed in a hobby, though, they find a simple relief. It’s like getting in a safe zone where stress has no access. When I used to return to my daily activities after golf, everything no longer seemed that problematic.  I needed that from my photography.

When I was choosing my new replacement hobby, I knew it had to challenge me. I needed to pick something that I always had an interest in but had no time for,  my new hobby was also not supposed to be easy to conquer.  That’s what make photography so motivating: the more progress I make, the greater challenges I face.  I understand why I laughed at my realization that I needed a hobby: It was a subconscious reaction initiated by my fear of change and failure.  I realized I needed to take action after the chest line because I was at risk of going into depression, I needed to stick up my stop sign and make my life better, and that’s exactly what I have tried to do.

Photography has helped me make friends, its made me a more confident person, and it has led me to inner harmony.

Passivity, inertia, excuses… I don’t need this stuff in my life. What I need is an activity that helps me focus my mind on something, a challenge.  I won’t lie: photography takes commitment. It’s not something I do in my free time; it’s something I now make free time for.  I have met new people, see new places, learnt new things, and become braver. I just need to grab every opportunity and stay spontaneous.
I am excited by photography, I love looking a things in a new way, a new light. I enjoy the patience it needs and I think over time it will bring me the enjoyment my golf did.

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