God must’ve known you were strong enough

God must’ve known you were strong enough. 

Right. Sure. Me strong enough? That was a joke. 

I can do all things through God who strengthens me Philippians 4:13 NKJV.

I’m going to be honest, I have heard this verse countless times from a lot of people, at first the verse and the people who quoted it to me made me really mad. I felt like people were taking this verse out of context and using it too flippantly. 
 I have heard this verse alot in the Chemotherapy Unit at Kings and in the Apherisis Unit by some Cancer patients.  I believed they seriously had no idea what they were saying when they told me God knew I was strong enough to handle this, making it sound like I’d won some kind of first prize in God's lottery.

Laying in hospital once I was opposite a very poorly lady who read the Bible almost daily, when I was younger I openly admit I attended Catholic schools, I attended Church, church youth club till I was 16/17 and scored a very high grade in GCSE RE and as an adult I read a great deal and find religion and belief interesting.

I knew the passage, not by heart, but enough to remember the lead up to this particular passage people quoted to me.  

I discussed it at length on this August morning with the lady opposite me and another lady who lives local to me who happened to be in the same bay.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

But, I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in regard to need, for i have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.   Philippians 4:6-13

We came to the conclusion that I wasn't picked because I was strong,  being strong alone is never enough, alone I would never be strong enough to handle this and that's the whole point, it is like being taught to remain strong, this is a learning opportunity, a long process with possibly no end game. 

Are you weak? Are you tired? Are you in too much pain?  Do you absolutely know you don’t have what it takes to make it through another biopsy, another Vas Cath, a permanent line.

God knows inside that I am broken,  that I need him to refuel me, that I need his strength, because alone I cannot do this, he knows that when I fall, I sometimes don’t want to be caught. Something in me wants to fall and feel the pain. Pain would be feeling something. Pain is what I think I deserve. God focuses on being courageous and strong, and being strong ACTUALLY means to be strong in him, he is enough when the going is tough as he alone can be trusted to be our protector in times of need. He wants and needs us to trust in him. 

I will touch on this again because I have had endless conversations about God the last 7 years and faith just like life, I find changes with the seasons and what life is currently dealing you,  but I want to just end with this 

Joshua 1:9 tells us Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.