Getting Mindful???

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I often feel completely attached to my thoughts—like I know I am thinking myself into circles, but I feel addicted to the dizziness.

I have started ongoing treatment now through my permanent chest line and often I’ll wish I didn't have a lot on my mind and I know I need to get myself healthy both mentally and emotionally while the team around me help me physically.

I have existed so long living on autopilot that I have forgotten simple day to day life. 

Am I resistant to clearing my head, and why?

I realized that I wanted to keep thinking, I have become addicted to thinking, spending many a sleepless night mentally gnawing on problems that I simply can’t solve. I wanted to keep thinking because I felt like I was creating solutions, like I was somehow making mental progress. If I took a break to clear my head, I thought, I might miss out on discovering something useful.  I felt like sitting around analyzing, assessing, and plotting was somehow more productive than getting out and enriching myself.

How completely misguided!

While there’s something to be said for thinking things through, sometimes it’s far more useful to let everything go, create some space, and then see what ideas and feelings emerge in that new place of clarity and stillness.

Taking a break to me has always felt like I was losing control, but lately I have had no choice apart from releasing control and actually this has felt far better than I had ever imagined it would.

Creating space feels good. Chucking stuff out lately, giving things to charity and selling things we no longer need has felt like some form of therapy.  

Stopping the cogs in my head even by going to sleep, becoming involved in House of Cards Season 5 binge or absorbed in a book has become my go to escapes.

My father always told me when you feel good you do good, be that through work and or hobbies.

The Pain Clinic has told me I need to get Mindful, I need to get a beautiful mind, she told me If I want to create and inspire people then I need to create room to access inspiration inside.

Mindful means that we are using our cognitive abilities, our rationality and our intelligence, to be present and make conscious choices: we are full of mind.

Minds can be wild, full of assumptions, expectations, and anxieties that may or may not be rooted in reality. The brain consists of rational, logical parts and primal, emotional parts that react in opposing ways to the same situation.  Situations in the present can trigger similar situations from the past and before we concentrate on now the brain deals with it how it sits in the past!  The brain becomes it's own broken record.

Like winning in Golf, being Mindful doesn’t come from sheer mental will, I need to open my mind, I need to allow a flow between my head and my heart so that I don’t just know answers, but I can feel them, with every ounce of my being.




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