Asking for Help...

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This blog is important to me, I did not start it for people to even read, its just for me. Its a space to be true to myself and to help me demonstrate that I matter. I will live the rest of my life with certain physical scars to remind me of what I have been through I am sure I will continue to collect some more. It is 2.30am, I am awake watching the sky and the lightning with a cup of tea.




We are taught in school that if we don’t understand something and need help, to put our hand up and ask, so simple, but why do so many of us see this as a weakness and instead believe we must struggle and suffer on in silence just because we are no longer young enough to put our hand up.


Every time my physical healing has been relatively easy, with some time, medication patience, and loving care. Emotionally and mentally, well this is a lot harder, each scenario seems to last for years.



It has taken an immense amount of courage to start this blog, being honest and open about me, sometimes I start to feel better, but it feels momentary. I gave up waiting for my rescue from someone, anyone, who might telepathically of known how I have felt without me having to say an actual word.




I laugh, because I have been taught by life that real love means being encouraged to be the biggest, most confident, strongest version of myself, to be able to stand up for myself and tell the truth, even if it might hurt someone else’s feelings.

It is not my destiny to be self-sacrificing for fear of disappointing someone or hurting other people, but instead my responsibility to protect, love, and honor my well-being. Going forward, I need to continue to
speak up and be honest, ask for help, talk to others, ask for someone to listen to me or even sometimes just give me a shoulder to cry on or a hug.

I have chosen for a long time to privately let the tears fall, to wash away the pain, and only now I have started to let people in.

A few years on since I started this journey with Kings and I still sometimes struggle a little to come to terms with it.


With practice, I have learned to write this blog, it quietens the inner voice that tells me to ignore my feelings and keep pretending that everything is fine and dandy. Some of the posts take half hour, some take a few days. Some will show insight, while others I will ramble on.

So, like me, if you find yourself in fear, turmoil, confusion or just simply you are hurting do not do this alone. Our school lessons taught us to put up our hand so do this either metaphorically or physically, and ask for help from anyone, whether in prayer or from another person. Be honest and keep asking and don’t give up until you find what you need.

We might not always find the answer straight away, but by talking about it, asking, and listening, I believe it will eventually come.

Comments

  1. UnknownWednesday, 19 July 2017 at 13:04:00 BST

    Lovely x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. odetteWednesday, 19 July 2017 at 13:17:00 BST

      Thank you, it is hard to be open and honest but I said from the start I did not start this for people to read.

      Delete

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