Time to let go

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Blame...

Blame makes us right and the other individuals wrong.  Sometimes, It feels good to say, “It was their fault,” but in the long run holding on to blame can become damaging.

Often, when I feel wronged, upset, and angry, that person is the only one to blame.  I understand that some things are so egregious and so unforgivable that it seems impossible to not default to blame. It’s human nature, it's instinctual. We are hard wired to blame.

Blame makes us focus on someone else, on what they did wrong.  Often blame makes us miss things about ourselves.  Blame can actually teach us a lesson about what we personally need to do differently going forward. 

Many situations in life can cause us to issue blame.  During my life, I have encountered toxic relationships.  During these situations I lost who I was, I could no longer recognize myself. I was stripped of many things. I lost my ability to trust myself, I lost my ideals,  I ignored my intuition. I lost my confidence. For a moment, I felt completely empty.


I remember the blame, the anger, and the frustration in many situations.  It takes time and actually it's something I needed to do alone, I needed to decide that I was done with it all.

In time, I know I will be ready to heal because the burden of carrying all this blame and anger was weighing me down. It was heavy.

What has happened doesn't matter, my desire to move forward and my desire to heal is greater than anything else. 

I know I cannot ignore mistreatment or unhealthy behaviour anymore. This is not love and this is someone on a different path than I am on.


I am genuine, loving and thoughtful but I know approaching 40 that I need to look out and pay attention to how people around me behave. 


The blame I have been carrying is heavy and actually I believe it's misplaced frustration and anger and as I cannot get any logical sense, I have blamed myself and carried this blame.  I cannot allow something outside of me to have so much power over me anymore. I have held up the stop sign.  I will never again allow something outside of me to override me and my feelings. 


Moving forward, even writing this will help me start to become more conscious in my interactions.  I have strengthened my boundaries, pulled up some much needed barriers and my relationship with myself has started again. 


This will not all be solved over night, I have, a lot of work to do, but the minute I started to release this blame, It was as if I recharged my energy and took back my power. 


I realized that I do not want to be the passive observer in my life. I want to be as conscious as possible.


We are all here to learn, to learn lessons in everything about life.  Some lessons like me becoming ill are unfair and some lessons will be alot harder to work through.  I have learned though that I can get through anything with love and support. 


I realize how hurt I have been, how hurt I am.  I will get through this.  I have a chance to do this over in a brand new, different way.  

I have taken my power back.  I have turned the light onto this darkness... 

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