Looking towards 2018

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I have not posted for a while, I will not lie to you, I have been struggling.

My father, who I love dearly, has had a major heart attack and now has pneumonia.  Emotionally and mentally, I am struggling.  

As this year comes to a close, I am looking towards 2018.  I do not really make New Year's Resolutions to be honest.  I truly believe that the most important thing in life is to enjoy it and to be happy.

The endless pursuit of happiness has always  fascinated me and like everyone, I will either awake happy or unhappy.  My unhappiness is honestly caused by pain, pain from my condition.  I am grateful for my life, the ability to keep going through plasma exchanges every fourth week. 

But..... everyone else, what is the difference that makes the difference with happiness? I’d love to have the answer because I would bottle it and hand it out for free. 

“Focus creates feeling.”  Daily, believe it or not, I actually decide whether my mind will focus on the good, the bad, or the ugly.  I know I am only one thought away from how I wish to feel.  

In 2018, we have decided as a family to concentrate on our family unit, I also know I need to take care of my own needs, I will then be able to give more to others because I will be in a better mental place.  I know that when I treat myself with kindness and compassion, this is naturally how I treat others.  When I look after myself, everyone is better off, myself and others.

Just as in 2017 and the years before, I know in 2018 there will be days where happiness eludes me. I’m going to again experience failure, disappointments, loss, stress, anger, and frustration.  All of these feelings are difficult, I already know that but like every year before, I will get through this.  

I hope, that in 2018, my sister focuses on her personal happiness.  

Happiness for me is an inside job, as my feelings come from inside of me; they’re internal.  I know that when my happiness is determined by the external world, I’m at its mercy.

I may or may not achieve my goals. I maybe will or maybe won’t have health, wealth, and success in 2018.  There are lots of maybes, which are not in my control.

Unlike the rest of the world,  I’ve decided that my overall happiness will no longer be a maybe.  I am a believer that even in life’s darkest moments, there are, “glimpses of happiness” to be found.  When these glimpses appear in 2018, I will acknowledge them and know that I will therefore feel happier more often.

Happy New Year.

I will blog a lot more in 2018. 

Comments

  1. UnknownSunday, 31 December 2017 at 11:12:00 GMT

    I still struggle with happiness, at I am enjoying some things now though and occasionally there is the stirring of that happiness feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach, slowly rising and trying to get out. I'm setting goals and pushing myself, even more next year and making the most of everything I can, I need to x - twin

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