Words

In life there is always something we feel we cannot and should not do for fear of humiliation, regret, having to explain ourselves to others, and sometimes to ourselves.

When you think about it, the word should is an instrument of regret.

Decisions that we make everyday may not lead to the results that we want in life, but does it really serve to tag on a conditional disclaimer to everything we have said or done in the past? It does if you want, as F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, to “beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”.  In the real, modern world without prohibition, flappers, speakeasies, jazz, and glam, it doesn't serve you to caveat your life with should if you want to experience life in the moment, at its fullest.

It’s not easy to remove the word should, this seemingly harmless word from vocabulary because we’re programmed to blame ourselves when things don’t go according to plan or as we hoped they would as if there's something wrong with us. 

Maybe we all hold onto the word should to justify who we are - just a human with raw emotion and flaws. The truth is, we will continue to occasionally make regretful decisions, lash out when we feel emotion, remain stagnant in unfavorable environments for fear of change, send one too many text messages to unresponsive people, or even lie to remove ourselves from uncomfortable situations. All things we’re programmed to know we shouldn’t do.

I am, as you know different and I say, we should do all those things.  We should make mistakes sometimes. Why? So we can learn from them, and in time, move forward when we know how and why to do things differently, not just because we should, but because we understand and are equipped to make that change.

I have totally thrown logic out of the window, I analyze life less and have therefore decided to live it more.  I’m ready to think for myself, not under the opinions or reigns of anyone else.  It isn't easy and I stumble a lot.