Change

Everyone at some point or other needs a change, often though you can be completely unsure what to do.

Often, from experience if you follow your heart you open up several possibilities and several open doors.

Fear causes self doubt and those little voices to creep in  "you should probably know that if you do this, you run the risk of losing much of what you’ve known and who you think you are now will look completely different the next time you look in the mirror.”

Most of the time, I feel completely in the dark but in the dark nothing can hurt you so therefore you can make no bad choices!  In life when I have made changes, they have always helped me grow into a better version of myself, but they always always came with a hidden tax. In order to get to where I was headed, I always needed to dig deep and re-discover my strength, my passion, and my drive to keep moving forward no matter what.  I would always face my fears dead on and question their purpose.  With any guilt I had came the opportunity to forgive myself, with any fear I had came the opportunity to trust myself.  With any self deprecation I had came the opportunity to love myself. 

I would look at myself in the mirror and question myself over and over again, I never had the ability to quit as I am far too proud.  

The new me I was becoming, who I am now was far braver than I ever knew.  Although fears continued to flood me,  I didn’t let them change my course.  I needed to stay on course. The more I let myself be vulnerable, the more I was able to see the next steps. I saw myself in a whole new light, I was now radiant and confident.  I was still full of flaws, but they were the kind I could work with.

You know when you have arrived because you suddenly feel comfortable in your own skin. 

Some people chose to start completely over in many ways and during that time of change they end up taking some massive hits emotionally, mentally and finanically.  They then have to let go, regroup and re-evaluate and move forward.  In hindsight they learn that the discomfort is always worth the end result. 

Fear of change never goes away.  I always find the best way to deal with it is to examine the root of its cause and discomfort. I look for alternatives to the boundaries it won’t budge on. I compromise decisions and reframe all the answers it gives me back. I hear the negatives and I search for the positives. I find the hope and spoon feed it to the fears who just want reassurance.  It may seem strange but I talk to my fears, I talk to them in a way that doesn't diminish their value but reminds them that they are not always right. 

Through change, the person I have become, I like, she is inspirational. 

Maybe that’s what change is all about.

Truly living and growing requires risk.  Not all risks pan out the way we hope or the way we even imagine. 

Sometimes those risks temporarily take us to places that are darker than the life we were living before. They may even require us to let go of what we think we need or what once brought us joy in order for us to grow.  With each risk comes the opportunity to discover something about ourselves, a new passion like I have with Photography, a personal insight like I have found since I changed, I am inspirational.  Some of us find deep courage and internal strength that’s been waiting to be felt for decades.

Life comes with no guarantees, you cannot take out a guarantee that you will experience more joy than before but the only way to discover what's possible is to to take a chance, make a change and find out.  

Barak Obama famously said - Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time.  We are the ones we have been waiting for.  We are the change that we seek.